Okay, somebody, somewhere has to have the sack to sound the alarm… run up the white flag… call a truce… be willing to be the bad guy… whatever. But something has to stop. Someone has to put the brakes on this thing that’s going ’round the porn industry.

Performer’s rates are out of fucking control. We’re at the tail end of what many people are calling the worst summer, business-wise, they can ever remember in the porn business. Companies big and small — Redlight, Metro, Legend, DVSX, etc. — stopped shooting altogether because there was no money coming in to fund production. Even majors like Vivid slowed production to a minimum.

Everyone — everyone — has seen sales hit the shitter this summer. DVDs are down, websites are dropping off, VOD is taking it in the shorts. No one has any work (three of you have e-mailed me in the past four days looking for gigs, so you know I speak the truth).

Add to that a fucking government full of religious whackos who want to put us all out of business anyway, and are desperately trying to do just that via the new 2257 regs (you have to know that the current 2257 raids are just a precursor to obscenity prosecutions; one more thing they can add to the pile to ensure a plea bargain rather than a fight when they take the producer to court).

And those producers who are shooting want one thing: cheaper product. A bigger margin. Lower budgets. Period. Kylie had a meeting with a producer last week who had one goal… It wasn’t excellent product. It wasn’t award-winning product. It was $15,000 product. Good, bad or indifferent, he just wanted it cheap. And he’s the rule, not the exception.

So, given an atmosphere where many rational people would be glad to have jobs at all, what are a lot of performers doing? Jacking up their rates, naturally. And I’m not talking $100 increases… Nor am I talking brand-new chicks who think they’re the next Jenna and want $2,000 for a fucking boy/girl scene (incidentally, how’s that working out for ya, Amy? Oh… you’re taking a break, and might be retired? Good career move, hon).

I’m talking about guys. Who want $1,000 per scene. More than most girls get for a straight boy/girl. Guys who were $700 this time last year. What. The. Holy. Motherfuck. Is. Going. On?!?

I understand wanting to make your rate. It happens in mainstream all the time… you spend your time looking for a producer who’ll make your rate so you’re not stuck with your rate from 1985 forever. But a fucking 33% increase? Gimme a break! Then you want to tell me it’s for a second scene? You are fucking high. Not on my show. Not now, not ever.

A big feature that takes the entire day when you could normally do two scenes? Sure. But for two hours of your time on a gonzo set? I’d rather shoot girl/girl from now until the sun goes cold.

And you guys with the platinum cocks, you do remember that it’s the girls that sell the movies, right? I know you don’t believe it, but unless you’re one of four guys in this business (bonus points if you can name the four; there are also three runners-up; no, I’m not one of them), no one, anywhere, is buying that movie just because you’re in it. Other than possibly you.

Let’s repeat that: Guys, you are a prop. No one buys a movie because your name is on the box. No one cares about anything but your cock working properly, me included. It’s harsh, but it’s true. Suck it up. You want to be The Man, go into a different line of work.

Now comes the bit that really makes your head asplode… some of these guys… with the out-of-control rates… are brand-fucking-new! Been making movies for a few weeks! Maybe a few months?!? I’m just screaming at my monitor right now… Who the fuck do you think you are?!? Is there no end to the fevered fucking egos that feed the cocks in this business? Is there no sense of proportion? So you’ve got a big dick and a few girls think you’re great, the fuck I care! I won’t pay Tommy Byron $1,000 and he’s a fucking legend! (Nothing personal, Tom… I love you, I just don’t have the budgets, and you don’t care anyway).

So you want to pay $1,000 for Mr. Frenchy, go to it… he’s been around for years, he’s a great performer, and his dick is huge (and looks like a Sharpei). You want to hire the big, bald Englishman for that 1k? Great… he’s been around for over a decade and throws a killer scene. You want to pay $900 for the Uber-German who can pop 11 times in one day? Good for him. He’s another perennial. I won’t pay it, much as I love him, but apparently others will.

But please, for the love of Bob, stop with the fresh-off-the-boat new guys who want these jacked-up rates. Who in their right mind is paying this? Why? Fuck him and fuck his mother and fuck the horse she rode in on, and fuck you, too, for paying it. He needs his ego deflated and you need a swift kick in the ass.

Listen people, this “recession-proof” business we’re all in is currently hanging on by its grubby fingernails. And it’s nothing personal. If I had my way, we’d all be making millions on every movie and living in mansions, but facts is facts, and money is money. Rates keep climbing, sales keep dropping and budgets keep diminishing. Do the math. Anyone else see a problem, here, or am I the retard in this scenario?

Whatcha think?

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You can’t learn too soon that the most useful thing about a principle is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency. — W. Somerset Maugham