Amongst the editing tsuris, I’ve been shooting camera for Take it All, a big dick movie Kylie is shooting for Adam & Eve’s Bad Seed line. So far it’s been relatively painless (well, for me). However, the events of yesterday pointed out yet another reason why it’s really convenient to have a female director who’s also talent.

Our first scene of the day was a g/g/g with Kylie, Kimberly Kane and Ariel X… what I gather the duly departed Jim Holliday would have referred to as a “giggler A trio” if I’m to take the rather infuriating section he wrote for an an arcane, apocyphal book about “porn slang” as gospel. It was great, the girls had fun, and it only took four hours of makeup to get everyone ready.

The second scene was supposed to be a sweet young thing doing an anal with Sledge Hammer.

Now, if you haven’t seen Sledge’s cock, it’s about the diameter of a Coke can, and the length of, oh… a ruler. Sweet young thing apparently hadn’t been told it was a big dick movie by her agent until the night before, and upon seeing, and then attempting, to insert Sledge’s priapus maximus, she announced that there was absolutely no fuckin’ way.

The solution, of course, was already on set, in makeup (well, sorta… a lot of it ended up in Kimberly’s crotch), with her ass warmed up from a big red dildo. So Kylie jumped in to her second anal scene that day, we didn’t have to wait on a replacement, and only wrapped a few hours later than we wanted. It’s a beautiful thing. I suppose some guys would be disturbed by having to shoot their own girlfriend parking a human Buick in her ass (I’m a mere mortal, after all), but as we’ve established, I’m a little bent.

Today, Kylie’s hobbling around like a Jewish grandmother with a replacement hip after taking two really big ones for the team in a way Erik Everhard or John Strong never could (nor would I want to watch it if they did), and Ren Savant & I are back to sitting at our editing stations trying to whittle “Corruption” down from the 4 1/2 hour movie it wants to be to something a little more reasonable.

Frankly, I’d rather watch Kylie park cars.

Whatcha think?

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