Someone asked me recently why I don’t blog about politics (being that, in real life, I have a well-armed, nimble, bellicose armada of facts and opinions about the past, present & future political situation of this declining nation at my command). Simply put, there’s just too much to get really,really angry about, especially with the Cheney/Rumsfeld crew of evil cocksuckers in charge. I mean, where d’ya even begin with these guys.

So I read the news, grind my teeth in frustrated silence at virtually everything I find, and select the little bite-size nuggets to vent about. This morning’s winner goes a little something like this:

Windows virus worms onto some Apple iPods

This kind of thing tickles me no end. Turns out that Apple just figured out that they shipped a whole slew of video iPods that come with the RavMonE virus preinstalled for your convenience. Apparently, one of their Windows machines got infected about a month ago, and they just now noticed. It wouldn’t be nearly as funny as it is if Apple, in their classic, smug-ass fashion, didn’t blame… wait for it… Microsoft.

Yup. Turns out if Windows wasn’t so susceptible to those damned viruses, poor Apple wouldn’t have had this problem.

Or it could just be that the guys who work at Apple are no different than the average Mac user; computer retards who don’t know a USB port from a UPS truck.

Now, before you get all pissy and pouty, let me explain that there’s nothing wrong with the average Mac that a sledgehammer and an electromagnet wouldn’t fix. They are the absolute cutting-edge of 2005 technology at only twice the price of today’s PCs… what’s not to love?

I should make it clear that I’m no fan of Windows, either. It’s a bloated piece of shit OS (POSOS, ya get it?) full of buggy legacy code that guarantees parts of it have never worked, and never will. But, y’know, a PC is a pretty clever piece of hardware, and making them safe for fucktards who insist on opening every attachment from Barclay’s bank, even though they don’t have an account there, is a tough chore. But then I find user error funny.

Not as funny as Greg Joswiak blaming Redmond because he shipped bob knows how many iPods with a worm pre-installed, but good for a chuckle nonetheless. This arrogance from the Apple camp that OSX is somehow more resilient to viruses is the comical part.

Let’s make this plain: It ain’t. There simply aren’t that many disaffected code-jockeys out there writing viruses for Apple because what’s the point? First of all, it’s kind of like challenging a Geranium to a footrace. Also, if you take the iPod out of the stats, Apple has about 4.2% of the PC market. Even hackers don’t have that much time on their hands.

But when they do make time, hoo-boy. A few years back, in response to Apple’s “switch” campaign, some malicious villain I’d like to buy a beer wrote a little worm called SwtchBck and spammed it out to graphic designers from his free e-mail address. Once it installed, it reformatted — oh, sorry Mac geeks, re-initialized — their primary hard drive in Windows NTFS format.

Now that’s funny.

Whatcha think?

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Often it does seem a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat. — Mark Twain