Monthly Archives: May 2012

I haven’t posted any film reviews since my 2011 roundup, so let’s talk about the last two I saw.

The Avengers

I admit I had my misgivings about this as soon as they attached Joss Whedon. I know his fans love him, but I’m sorry; he’s a lightweight. Serenity. Buffy. Dollhouse. The screenplay for Alien Resurrection. Whedon has demonstrated again and again that his “skill” seems to be in making the “serious” elements of any story subject to the whims of his humor. Apparently, he would rather have a collection of characters with interchangeable voices delivering snappy one-liners than spend the effort to build any real emotional connection with the audience.

Avengers feels exactly the same. All the other Marvel films, even the horrible Incredible Hulk, had a sense of gravitas. The characters had arcs, and the story felt like thre was a real threat. Other than Tom Hiddleston as Loki, no one in Avengers has anything even remotely like an arc. I just didn’t care… and, I would argue, neither did the actors. Everyone seemed to be phoning it in, or maybe that’s just a side-effect of Whedon’s directing style. Everyone in Firefly seemed to be phoning it in, and that was the best job most of those actors ever had.

I also felt that Avengers looked bad. The entire was film was flat, and looked very much like a TV movie. I partly blame Whedon, who has a very television-oriented aesthetic, and I partly blame the DP, Seamus McGarvey, who has never shot anything (I’ve seen) that didn’t look like a TV movie.

Was Avengers horrible? Of course not. Some of the action sequences even manage to be exciting. But it certainly doesn’t live up to its hype.

Moonrise Kingdom, on the other hand, is sheer fucking brilliance.

Full disclosure; I’m a hardcore Wes Anderson fan. The Darjeeling Limited, which is far and away his weakest movie, is still one that I really enjoy (many don’t). I would fuck The Royal Tenenbaums if I could. I really wish I could get the 22-minute version of his hysterical American Express commercial on blu-ray. So, what I’m saying is I might not be the most unbiased judge; obviously, Anderson’s films hit a button with me.

That being said, I think Moonrise Kingdom is every bit the equal of Tenenbaums, and for me, that’s a huge compliment. Yes, it is a return to the classic Wes Anderson form; the color palette is unreal, the scenes unfold like vignettes from a play, and the characters are all a strange mix of the real and the fantastical, but it works seamlessly. This is a smart, funny, downright eclectic film with a sweet, charming ingenuous tone that is impossible not to love.

Yup. Sweet. Charming. And I loved it. If anything, Moonrise Kingdom is less like Tenenbaums than it is the answer to it. It isn’t cynical or black or bleak in any way, and yet it never turns to treacle. I don’t want to fuck Moonrise Kingdom, I want to spoon with it as we fall asleep, and that is every bit as good.

  • @JazyBerlin good god, you're up early! #
  • @JazyBerlin believe it or not, I'm usually up by 8; I just don't sleep. #
  • @brooklynleexxx @ChanelPreston We all three have too much in common. I'm just you two, but old, saggy, no tits, and I don't do anal. #
  • @lexiswallow For me that just means it's Wednesday… #
  • Okay, people, there will be a new blog post this evening! Geez, quit yer whining! #
  • @ChanelPreston @brooklynleexxx Lemme think about it. No. Aaaaaannd… No. #
  • Wow… I had never seen "Alien Resurrection." Changing that situation was a mistake… I love Jeunet, but What. The fuck. Was that? #
  • A brief history of superhero porn dating back to the 40s, including a nod to the current "Axel Braun Era." Nice! #
  • @scarlettfay101 Painful, ain't it? #
  • He may be a psychotic drug addict, but Tom Sizemore is a damned fine actor. #
  • @HollywoodHeard That's what I'm watching! #
  • Auditioning for a low-budget horror film tomorrow, 'cause I just love the taste of cheese… ;) #
  • @BurnettRM Depends on the woman, pal… #
  • What you meant to say was "Watch this amazing, weird video to see @Penny_Pax drink blood & get a gun in her pussy!" #
  • @Lia_Lor It was "It's A Wonderful Life," and, no, no one died. #
  • @CiciRhodes Ah, if only it didn't all go to hell in the second half of the last season… #
  • All right, I lied about the fucking blog… first thing in the morning. Gonna try that "sleep" thing again. #

Your thought for the day…

  • Wait… last night I spent time with a gorgeous woman who thinks I'm amazing, and today I feel great… I think I'm onto something here! #
  • @AdriannaNicole Oh. Yeah. I guess I kinda did… #
  • @scarlettfay101 That was a rhetorical question, right? #
  • Everyone thinks I hate people; I don't. I love people. They stack well. #
  • The great thing about unpacking is discovering all the shit that's been broken. #
  • "She doesn't look Russian, she looks like every other hipster girl… the hipster look is just Russian mail order bride" – Libby Letlow #
  • Oh, brain… you suck… #
  • @MissLarkinLove It only takes a day or so for the invite. #
  • So, everyone else slept like hell, too, right? #
  • Working on my office before running errands and seeing females. That's the good part. #
  • @AdriannaNicole Yeah… you feel me. #
  • @BurnettRM @AdriannaNicole Argh! Strike that! Reverse it! #
  • One of the many reasons that @AdriannaNicole is my favorite woman on the planet; she reads my mind. She also sends me great naughty pictures #
  • Aaaaaand… gut-punch. Happy Monday. #
  • @AdriannaNicole #
  • @OforOdile They make those mistakes a lot. Because, y'know, they're retarded. #
  • Pretty great evening… hopefully, I can sleep tonight. #
  • @scarlettfay101 I have an ex-GF who did the same thing. ALL the "heavy" conversations happened at 2 am. #
  • @scarlettfay101 Too late. Text it to me! #
  • @MissLarkinLove Oh, believe me, it was my pleasure, Love… ;) #

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You shouldn’t think that just because I’m looking at you while you’re talking to me, that I’m necessarily listening to, or caring about, what you’re saying. It’s just something I do to be polite. — Sam Donovan (William H. Macy), Sports Night