Daily Archives: May 13, 2012

I swear to Christ, I will never, ever, understand the Japanese…

  • This little guy is more intelligent and talented than our director, writer, and male lead put together. http://t.co/VsiB9Lqf #
  • And now, running to Louisiana. Because there's just fucking NOTHING in ALABAMA! #
  • @Lia_Lor why would you even consider such a thing? #
  • @dpiercexxx whuuuaaat? #
  • I'm currently riding in the Earthbound version of the Vomit Comet… don't ask… #
  • There is so much wrong with this situation, I don't even know where to start the list… #
  • My life is like a live album; familiar, loud, with occasional applause, but still pretty much sucks. #
  • @smutcutter Text me your number again! Lost it! Need it! #
  • What we're dealing with here is… [Photo] http://t.co/zhCwWC3e #
  • @Penny_Pax pretty great Mickeyfeet! #
  • @TaraLynnFoxx What if I DO approve… can I kiss it anyway? #
  • Here’s my big Saturday night in Mobile… throwing gang signs in the hotel laundry room. http://t.co/7Zh1ofSc #
  • For those who missed it, new blog post: Regards to Captain Dunsel http://t.co/mW8MJher #
  • @BurnettRM Dude, you didn't get to the end… this one is actually UPBEAT. #
  • @Lia_Lor You're expression kind of says, "I think my period just started… I hope I have something in my purse…" #
  • @Penny_Pax @dannywylde Yes, there's a limit to egalitarianism, pal. "bros before hoes" begins with you and your ejaculate. #
  • Hey! @Penny_Pax, @Lia_Lor, @BurnettRM , @dannywylde, we're obviously all bored, let's go– Oh, fuck, wait. Alabama… #SlashSlashSlashSlash #
  • @Penny_Pax @dannywylde I have a feeling if I ever saw myself masturbating, I would never get an erection again. #
  • @leilani_leeane Epic ass, madame. #
  • Orrrrrr….. not. Apparently. #

It’s true I don’t get all squishy on days like this. I mean, I don’t really get squishy at all, but Hallmark holidays like Mother’s Day don’t mean anything to me.

It isn’t that I’m cold. I mean, I am cold, but this isn’t related. It’s that my upbringing was such a confused, fucked-up mess.

My father bailed when I was two. Then, depending on whose story you believe, my mother either asked or was bullied into giving me up for adoption to my grandparents (my maternal grandmother, Sylvia, and her second husband, Cecil, who was not my mother’s father).

That’s right. Legally, my mother is also my sister. Is that Chinatown enough for you?

My grandparents did they best they could. Certainly, I was a pain in the ass kid.

My mother has always been around, to varying degrees. Sometimes I see her often, usually a few times a year.Less since I moved to L.A. I’ve talked to my dad a handful of times, seen him maybe five or six times since I hit 18. But, at this remove, and with both of my grandparents dead, these little card-and-flower fiestas don’t mean a lot to me.

But it’s a big day for “brunch.”

My contrarian Mother’s Day tribute: Words I haven’t heard in far too long…

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If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error. — John Kenneth Galbraith