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You’ve stumbled onto the blog of Bryn Pryor, also known to the world at large as Eli Cross.

I’m a producer/director/cameraman still struggling with mainstream success while entering my 23rd year in the adult industry, an arena I’ve been pretty successful in. I’ve also directed real movies, music videos and television shows.

Since exiting (well, being invited to exit, actually) an 8 1/2 relationship over two years ago, I’ve come to realize that being an aging perverati carries with it certain compromises. One is that I doubt I will ever be in another serious relationship.

Maybe it’s just my midlife crisis, but I’m emotionally prepared to die alone.

I’m incredibly immature in some ways, and very much an adult in others. I still get together to play RPGs with friends, and have an office full of toys and action figures.

I am geekier than you. Hardcore. An Ur-Geek, but I can dress to pass.

I don’t believe in monogamy, and am an unapologetic pervert.

I still use capital letters in e-mail.

I cry a lot at movies, but mostly ’cause they suck.

I have three cats.

I have no interest in sports.

I have an infinite attention span. No, seriously, like thousand-yard-stare attention span.

If you’re short on time or attention span yourself, here are the Cliffs notes. I am, in turns, fiercely intelligent, cynical, cutting, dark, bitter, and funny… outgoing, hopeful, artistic, supportive and kind… entertaining, literate, educated, pedantic, charming and egregiously offensive.

I’m… complex. Dirty. Fearless.

I’m still making dirty movies to pay the bills; dirty movies that look and feel like real movies for a fraction of the cost. In the interim, I’m putting together a horror movie I hope to shoot next year, and a steampunk short.

I spend the rest of my time being a 75% component of someone else’s career. Essentially, I’m a ghost director.

I occasionally forget that my life is kind of amazing. Sometimes it’s just too salty to savor.

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Rules are just helpful guidelines for stupid people who can’t make up their own minds. — Seth Hoffman, House, M.D.