Blog

The 1956 classic Forbidden Planet tells of a scientist studying the long-dead alien homeworld of a race he calls the Krell. Millennia more advanced than humans, the Krell had created a massive machine which could quite literally turn their very thoughts and desires into reality. The day they activated the machine, their civilization died because they had failed to account for the subconscious desires that still lurked in the back of their fantastically advanced minds.

The internet is our version of the Krell machine. Thousands of years from now, when the next dominant species, or some group of alien explorers, comes to exhume the remains of our crumbled stab at civilization, they will find a species that imploded because they gave themselves the power of easy knowledge and instantaneous communication.

As with some many things, Douglas Adams understood the dangers. His description of the Babel fish (a small creature which allows perfect communication irrespective of language) from Hitchhiker’s Guide concludes with this paragraph:

“Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”

We don’t have the Id to blame. The internet has revealed once and for all that we are all, at our core, monsters.

When you’re making a film, there comes a moment. It has happened on every film I’ve ever made, and every one I almost made. It’s a moment of equilibrium, either gained or lost. A fleeting moment of critical mass.

You feel it. It settles as a moment of giddiness, or a crawling in the pit of your stomach. The moment where you know, with unshakable certainty, that the film either is or is not going to happen.

Y’see, unless you’re working at a very high level of film or television, production is never certain until The Moment comes. Every movie is like a snowball rolling downhill. It either takes on weight, gains velocity and feels as if it will continue under its own momentum, or it comes apart and disintegrates.

This morning, the moment hit me. Diminuendo is happening. It’s a beautiful thing.

You’re going to be hearing me talk a lot about this film over the next several months. Here’s the scoop:

Never fully recovered from witnessing Cello Shea, the love of his life, commit suicide in front of him, famous director Haskell Edwards has fallen into a nine year, alcoholic, drug-induced slump he isn’t even sure he wants to pull out of.

When a high profile tech-company invites him to direct a movie about Cello’s life, Haskell’s not sure if he should take the job, especially when they reveal the utterly lifelike robot that will be playing Cello.

Recruiting his old friends (and enemies) to help him produce a movie that honors Cello’s legacy, Haskell is forced to relive his whirlwind relationship with Cello and finally address the differences between love and obsession.

THE CAST includes Richard Hatch (Battlestar: Galactica, Cowboys & Engines, The Rainmakers), Chloe Dykstra (Nerdist, Drag Me To Hell, Spider-Man 2), Leah Cairns (Interstellar, 88 Minutes, Fargo [Season 1]), James Deen (The Canyons, Happy-ish), Gigi Edgley (Farscape) and Walter Koenig (Star Trek, Babylon 5) as Milton Green.

PRODUCING the film are Sarah Goldberger (Cowboys & Engines, X-Rated), Hollywood Heard (Range 15, Jake’s Corner), and Ryan Linderman of Lionsgate Entertainment. The Executive Producer is Michael Hemmerich (The Jokesters, Prey).

DIMINUENDO is directed by Bryn Pryor (Cowboys & Engines, Poker) and written by Bryn Pryor & Sarah Goldberger.

Rebel 11 and Faithless Films present Diminuendo, a Flamboyance Films production.

www.DiminuendoMovie.com

 

 

So, continuing (sorta) my return-to-blogging warmup from the other day, I wanna talk about a series most of you have probably never watched: Casual.

I’m a huge fan of Jason Reitman. I would fuck Up in the Air if I could, and I’m in the narrow minority who loved both Young Adult and Men, Women and Children. I respect him to the point that I don’t even care that he hated our script for Diminuendo.

(Full non-disclosure; he is, to date, the only person I’m aware of to have this reaction. In fact, everyone else has been ridiculously positive. Also, no, I won’t tell you what he said or how we got it to him).

I love his fucked up situational awareness and train-wreck characters. So, I thought Casual, being his series, might be worth a look. And it was. Until it wasn’t.

Look, I knew we were in for a show filled with awful people doing awful things they don’t know are awful. I expected that, and wasn’t disappointed for the most part. Until the end of season one. Earlier in the season, Alex, the lead trainwreck, adopts a chocolate lab puppy. In that arc, he wisely realizes he can’t even care for himself, much less a dog, and returns the puppy to the store.

The writers, apparently out of ideas for what else to do to end the season, brought that dog back into the story at the end of the season for no reason except to kill him offscreen. So they can make a joke about it. And it’s really, really not fucking okay. It is literally a pointless, unmotivated moment of ugliness that the character can simply never recover from. In the context of the real world, it doesn’t even make sense. A whole lot of things that would never happen have to happen for this puppy to be dead.

People who know me understand my love for animals. If you’re gonna kill an animal in a story, it needs to be motivated. Important. And I will still never forget. Game of Thrones, for example, will never make me care what happens to Sansa, no matter what abuse she suffers, simply because she was responsible for Lady being killed. To paraphrase Don Corleone, “This, I do not forgive.”

So, yeah, Jason? You can do better. And Casual, as an entity, can blow me. I can only hope that Hulu cancels it after season two since we are apparently the only people watching it anyway.

I’ve spent more words blogging about why I didn’t/haven’t/don’t blog than I have writing blogs. The excuses can all be found in previous blogs, and still work.

However, we’re in the final weeks of prep before we begin shooting Diminuendo, and I’ve been asked by the producers to begin blogging again so there’s something to hang early PR on.

“Diminuendo,” you say. “What’s that?” It’s a feature film I’m directing which I co-wrote with Sarah Goldberger. It’s stars Richard Hatch, Chloe Dykstra, Leah Cairns, James Deen, Gigi Edgley, Dia Frampton and Walter Koenig. It’s a science-fiction romance that starts shooting on August 14 and it’s gonna be awesome.

It’s also the only thing I’ll be able to talk about soon, so I’m going to leave it for another day. It’s the middle of Comic-Con, so let’s talk pop culture. Here’s a very brief update since my last blog…

  • Zero Theorem. Was super-excited for this, but missed it. Still haven’t watched the disc.
  • Men, Women & Children. Fantastic, which bears some relevance later.
  • Gone Girl. Fine. Not Fincher’s best.
  • Whiplash. Script-by-rote with one standout performance.
  • Fury. So very ALMOST a good and interesting film, but… not.
  • Birdman. Fucking AMAZING, and, yes, if you missed it, he’s dead.
  • Nightcrawler. Interesting take on the creep-as-photographer.
  • Horns. Stop. Don’t. You’ll regret it.
  • Interstellar. I really should have done a full review on this guy, but overall, I loved it.
  • Big Hero 6. Some Disney tropes I didn’t care for, but overall, a blast.
  • Theory of Everything. Difficult and wonderful.
  • Rosewater. Meh.
  • The Imitation Game. An even more impressive and heartbreaking Breaking the Code.
  • Exodus. The final plague was this film.
  • Inherent Vice. Wait. Maybe the final plague was THIS film. Ugh.
  • American Sniper. Absented from its various propaganda, this is a mostly entertaining film about a basket case with good aim.
  • Blackhat. I’m one of the ten people who saw it, and I still don’t care.
  • Jupiter Ascending. WTF did I just watch? Is this movie a joke? Makes Fifth Element seems gritty and real.
  • SpongeBob: Sponge Out of Water. Don’t ask why, just know that seeing this movie while not on drugs is apparently a mistake.
  • Kingsman. Hated it. Thought the action sequences were over-the-top and silly. Cared about no one.
  • Chappie. Neil Blomkamp is now 1 for 3.
  • Ex Machina. The Unicorn & I seem to be the only people on Earth who thought this film was obvious and dull.
  • Avengers: Age of Ultron. Liked it better than the first Avengers, but needed to be half an hour longer.
  • Mad Max: Fury Road. The. Best. Movie. Of. The. Year.
  • Tomorrowland. Not the worst, but close. Damn, Brad Bird, really?
  • Inside Out. Stunning. The first Pixar movie in years that feels like Pixar.
  • The Overnight. This was way better when it was Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice.
  • Tangerine. I hate this movie so goddamned much. If I could drag this into an alley and kick it until it died from internal bleeding, I would do it.
  • Ant-Man. Thank Bob not every Marvel movie has to be about saving the world. Friggin’ awesome, and also, Giant Thomas!!!
  • Mr. Holmes. A little too saccharine around the edges, but still a fine performance.
  • The Fantastic Four. Every bit as bad as you heard. Every. Bit.
  • The Diary of a Teenage Girl. This movie is fantastic. Tiny and warm-hearted and real.
  • The Man From UNCLE. The Kingsman in the 60s. All style, ZERO substance.
  • A Walk in the Woods. I love this book so much I almost made myself like the film. Almost.
  • Black Mass. Between Johnny Depp’s hairpiece and his teeth, I forgot to watch the movie. Totally underwhelmed.
  • Sicario. Well, it’s gorgeous to look at.
  • The Martian. Loved it. This generation’s Apollo 13. Best Ridley Scott film in decades.
  • Steve Jobs. Seriously, was there a story here and I missed it? I know nothing about Jobs at the end I didn’t know going in. He starts and ends as an aesthetics-obsessed difficult dick. That’s not a movie.
  • Bridge of Spies. Feels like one of Frank Capra’s lesser efforts. This movie needed to be made in the 60s.
  • Rock the Kasbah. God, I wanted to like this… but, alas.
  • Brooklyn. Beatiful, simple, and delicate.
  • Spectre. This movie proves that even people you respect can make a monumental, expensive turd when they just don’t care.
  • The Big Short. Good overall, but feels a bit gimmicky.
  • Where to Invade Next. It’s a shame this got such lousy distribution because I think a lot of the Michael Moore-averse would have liked it. Really more about solutions to problems than pointing out the massive bullshit we put up with in this country.
  • The Revenant. Fucking gorgeous, but utterly without story. Two-plus hours of lovingly-photographed torture porn and a stunning achievement, but not a movie.
  • The Hateful Eight. Saw the roadshow engagement and loved it. Classic Tarantino. Not sure what the hate was about.
  • Hail, Caesar! The Coens doing golden age Hollywood and it was magical.
  • Deadpool. Dumb as a box of rocks, but what a blast. Should put the nail in the coffin of all other superhero movies at Fox, since they seem clueless.
  • Batman v Superman. Calling this giant disaster out as the pile of shit it is kind of feels like gut-punching a toddler with progeria at this point, but holy fuck is this a bad film.
  • Captain America: Civil War. Epic. Amazing. The best superhero film ever made. More than a great Marvel universe installment, this is just a great film.
  • X-Men: Apocalypse. Mentioning this because normally I would have been there opening night. Instead, I just couldn’t muster the interest to go. Still haven’t seen it, and have heard nothing compelling to make me want to fix that.
  • Finding Dory. Yeah, it’s pretty goddamned great.

There. We’re all caught up. Let me wrap up by listing the big summer blockbusters I have skipped or plan to skip. Once upon a time, I would have been at every one of these. Now…? Movies have become such a shitshow I just don’t have the patience. Not seeing: The Nice Guys, WarCraft, Independence Day Resurgence, Legend of Tarzan, Ghostbusters or Star Trek Beyond.

Must be getting old.

I’m going to try to blog four times a week, even if it’s a short blast. For next time, it’s no secret I’m a big fan of Jason Reitman. I love his films, and think he’s a gifted director, so I want to talk about his Hulu series Casual, and how it made me want to put my fist through the screen.

In a bad way.

Okay, so it’s been a tough week. Poor me, right? I promise I’ll quit whining shortly. I’m giving myself the weekend to wallow in self-pity and self-loathing, and then Monday I have to snap out of it.

I promise a really vicious, snarky and (hopefully) entertaining blog first thing next week, so quit complaining, all y’all. In the meantime, I’ll let you folks vote on the subject matter. I’ve had rants brewing about a few different topics, so I’ll let you pick which one it is. Either e-mail me or post a comment to vote…

You can have

Why Violet Blue (the writer) is a total asshole.
The story of the bike-riding douchebag I almost ran down intentionally.
A grab-bag of thoughts about recent and upcoming movies and shows.
The Eli Cross career update (c’mon. Really?).
That political tirade I’ve been keeping stifled for months now.

Lemme know what you want. I live to serve… or serve to live… or something… (and ain’t that the fuckin’ dismal truth).

In the meantime, if anyone out there can score me an invite code for Demonoid, I’ll not only love ya forever, I’ll send you free porn.

Subscribe to the Tango

Get an email whenever I blather.

Archives

Posts by Category

Posts by Date

December 2017
M T W T F S S
« Nov    
 123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
25262728293031

From Twitter

Random Quote

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. — J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring