“Oh God, why did she have to happen? Just when I was doing so well without her.”
Hunter S. Thompson
— The Rum Diary

I swear to Christ, I will never, ever, understand the Japanese…

  • Just got in after shooting all night, and I swear the maid took a dump in my bathroom when she cleaned the room. #
  • @DianaPrinceXXX I'm excited to see them. #
  • @BurnettRM I'm sorry, but we both know that in the real world, the holodeck would be used for ONE THING, and the floor would be like glue. #
  • @MissLarkinLove awesome! Now if I can outlast Alabama, we have a date! #
  • @brooklynleexxx whom told you that? #
  • @DianaPrinceXXX @jediofdoom Oh yeah… Reb Brown with his feathered hair, clear plastic shield and motorcycle! Pure cheese. #
  • This little guy… (photo) http://t.co/vLLUZFK2 #
  • @LDerdiger You didn't piss me off at all, hon. No worries. ;) #
  • That's it. No more sex with civilians. Porn girls are also fucking nuts, but at least it's in a way I generally understand. #
  • @brooklynleexxx Agreed. #
  • @pornlaw As I said… we in porn: outlaws. #
  • …I mean, that's like… Rick Santorum teaching evolution to Catholic school.kids ironic. #
  • Listening to Science Friday on NPR while driving in Alabama is irony on a level I just can't wrap my head around… #
  • @Penny_Pax for a minute I thought you found the cupping set and used it without me. SUCH a spanking! #
  • Mother of fucking god, people in the south have NOWHERE to go, and all GODDAMNED DAY to get there. #
  • Just got a big, cold bucket of Self-Loathing Helper (like Hamburger Helper, but more neurotic) dumped over my head. Good. Morning. #
  • I'm so frustrated right now I could punch-fuck a nun… and not enjoy it. #
  • @pornlaw I hate to say it but, really, what's the point? We'll all be outlaws again soon enough. #
  • @shylarcobi @HollywoodHeard as in "keep him far away," I assume. #
  • I feel a big blog post coming… #
  • Dear mother: STOP FOLLOWING ME ON TWITTER! Thank you. #
  • @Houstondon thanks. Yeah, we all miss the old days. #
  • Trying hard to shake it off, but the idea of just disappearing is still incredibly appealing. #
  • I'm seriously considering vanishing rather than returning to LA after this job… I have nowhere to go and no one who wants me there… #

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My idea of romance is if I kiss you BEFORE I slap you. — Bryn Pryor