Alabama 9

Your Thought For the Day

Your Thought For the Day.

Your Thought For the Day.

There’s a thing on movie sets; it never changes, and it’s the same all around the world. The guys on the crew are trying to fuck every remotely attractive woman on the crew. Or the cast. Or both. From day one on, every woman who steps foot on set is discussed, debated, critiqued and flirted with mercilessly. It must be incredibly tiring.

I’m slightly less guilty than most in that stupid women, or vanilla women, no matter how attractive, are of no interest, even for a quick movie shoot fling. At my age, I’m all about quality over quantity.

You also have to understand that there are usually very few attractive women working on a set, at least behind the scenes. It’s just a fact. Our camera department has a couple of fairly interesting blondes (I have a weakness), but one is very immature emotionally, and angry about everything, and the other is… well… a Mormon. And, having gone to high school with tons of Mormons, I Just Can’t Go There.

We have three attractive-ish PAs… Lindsey is the most classically pretty, but has obviously never, ever had good sex in her life. She might even be a virgin (creeeeeepy). Grace, pictured below, is bright, but not particularly sexual, and has zero interest. Katy, the third PA, is cute, blonde, wants to come to LA and act. But she’s a good girl at heart, and very young, and I think I would A: scare the shit out of her, and B: break her heart.

More trouble than it’s worth, frankly.

However, two days ago, during the rain, I spotted a very attractive extra in the crowd. She’s a redhead (another weakness) with tattoos (very rare in Alabama) and piercings (ditto), and unlike 99% of the women I’ve seen since leaving L.A., she doesn’t have an ass the size of Kansas.

I pointed her out to Hollywood, and he declared her “an Alabama 9.” During the rain, I managed to peel her off from her mother, and we hit it off. Alabama 9 is extremely geeky, and, as I’ve discovered while texting with her over the last few days, a serious perv who watches a lot of hentai. And she might be moving to San Diego or L.A. at some point this year, which could be a good thing…?

We’re supposed to go out Sunday; dinner, movie, etc., except she’s nervous because she has a boyfriend. Strangely, I’m not nervous because she has a boyfriend… hmmm….

 

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Will: Sharon, the NEA is a loser. Yeah, it accounts for a penny out of our paycheck, but he gets to hit you with it any time he wants. It doesn’t cost money, it costs votes; it costs airtime, column inches. You know why people don’t like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so fucking smart, how come they lose so goddamn always?
Sharon: Hey!
Will: [to Lewis] And with a straight face, you’re gonna tell students that America’s so star-spangled awesome, that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. [laughs] So 207 sovereign states in the world, like a hundred and eighty of them have freedom.
Moderator: Alright–
Will: And yeah, you, sorority girl. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there’s some things you should know, and one of them is, there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force, and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only 3 categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined. 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a 20 year old college student. But you, nonetheless, are without a doubt a member of the worst period generation period ever period. So when you ask, “what makes us the greatest country in the world?” I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Yosemite? [Pause] We sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons. We passed laws, struck down laws for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were. And we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it, it didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in our last election. And we didn’t… we didn’t scare so easy. We were able to be all these things, and to do all these things, because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore. [Pause] Enough?
— WIll McAvoy (Jeff Daniels), The Newsroom