Alice

Your Thought For the Day

Your Thought For the Day

Interesting day. Today, I sat in on the first round of auditions for Behind the Green Door, Vivid’s big-budget remake/reboot of the porn classic, directed by adult legend Paul Thomas. After shooting camera for PT, we have a genuine respect for each other that goes deeper than when we were simply directors across the room at the AVN Awards. He’s been getting my input on the script as its developing. We’ve been having a lot of behind-the-scene discussions about casting, and I’m honored he wants to include me in this process.

I’m not going to name any names, but as with any big casting call in porn, we had some great reads, some weird reads, and some really, really bad reads. There was also a lot of press, which just made everyone more nervous and helped not at all. I think the flack from Buzz Media was disappointed that it was just people reading from the script. When he first walked in, he asked, “what does a porn casting entail?”

I told him each person auditioning was going to come in and blow the director. At the end of the day, he’d decide who sucked the best cock for each role. Since we had guys as well as girls auditioning, this process might be a little uncomfortable for the uninitiated. He blinked at me and thought I was utterly serious until I cracked a smile.

We did have a few highlights, however. We had the girl/girl only girl read for the part that does a no-holes-barred interracial gangbang. We had the porn industry perennial who always sounds like a cross between John Wayne & Mr. Ed when he “acts.” We had the little Hispanic girl whose read was actually pretty good if the lead were a first-generation Columbian immigrant. And given that the industry has a very vanilla talent pool at the moment, it was awesome to watch the girl’s faces as Marci, Vivid’s head of production, asked each, “Do you do interracial?” “Anal?” “How about gangbangs?”

For me, being a producer has made auditions as an actor so much easier. Once you’ve been on the other side, you know how often decisions are made based on a million factors other than simply who was the best actor? So much comes into play that is completely and utterly out of the actor’s control that I never feel pressure in auditions anymore. I just go, read, and forget it ever happened.

In other news, I saw The Dark Knight Rises yesterday, and I loved it. I will not be posting my review until next week, to keep the spoilers off the page.

Lastly, I’ve gotten 8 e-mails and DMs asking about the outcome of the Huge, Epic Mistake I presaged for myself back in mid-May. I’m sworn to secrecy about the particulars, so here’s the very generic answer: It was exactly the huge mistake I feared. Basically, against my better judgement, I told someone the exact truth — brutal honesty — about a particular situation. I spilled my guts, let them deep into my head, told them exactly how I felt.

I will never do that again. Not only was the end result the opposite of the outcome I hoped for, telling the truth actually destroyed all possibility of that outcome ever happening at all.

For those who’ve been bugging me, that’s all ya get. I’m sorry there isn’t more detail. I guess you’ll have to wait for my book. In the meantime, remember these words of wisdom from Mark Twain as you go forward in life: “It’s better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open ones mouth and remove all doubt.”

Your Thought For the Day

I got up at 5 am Friday morning to head to Comic-Con before traffic got horrendous. My plan was to get to San Diego, find parking, grab breakfast and have time to prowl the exhibit hall for most of the day. And it worked. The drive was relatively painless, and I only had to wait in line for half an hour to get a breakfast sandwich at Subway.

I should interject here that I am one of those people who thinks Comic-Con has completely outgrown its fishbowl, and continuing to have it in San Diego is a disservice to the fans it claims to cater to. Of course, having to wait 45 minutes to pay $19 for a cheeseburger will do that to you… but that’s a blog for another day.

The fact is, I’m not a very good geek. I don’t care about meeting comic book writers or artists. I’m unconcerned with how the LGBT community is portrayed in genre fiction. I don’t want to know how to cosplay any Buffy characters. During a normal SDCC trip, I spend the majority of my time prowling the exhibit hall anyway. I just don’t have the patience to wait for hours to get into the ballroom or hall H to see 5 minutes of a film that isn’t coming out for a year, or listen to Shane Black answering questions only a fan would ask (i.e., retarded ones). Watching all this going on around me, I decided Comic-Con is just Burning Man for people who read books.

I would have skipped it completely, but this year I had two reasons for going. The first was to make face-to-face contact with as many steampunk craftspeople as possible to source props and costumes for the short I keep mentioning, and in that regard, I was very successful. The second was to attend the screening of Natural 20, a short made by my friends John & Brusta, which was screening in the SDCC Film Festival. That went very well, and they won best humor short.

Not the worst Black Widow at Comic-Con. By far.

As it happened, this was my first time being at SDCC by myself, and it was a fairly lonely experience. I would see something cool or interesting, and had no one to discuss it. Two years ago, Comic-Con was all unfortunate mother/daughter Silk Spectre teams, which Mischief & I mocked mercilessly. Last year, it was bad Baronesses. This year was a plethora of embarrassing Black Widows and Harley Quinns, and I couldn’t share the pain. Tweeting “Huh. Batman is 5’2″ and fat. Who knew?” just isn’t the same thing as getting to say it in the moment.

Since I had a spare professional guest badge, I had originally planned for D to come down with me for the day, but our mutual poor communication skills fucked it up. Then, when she realized I was there alone, Vega began threatening to come down and join me which wasn’t going to happen. Again, too high-maintenance for Comic-Con, and I wasn’t about to add that stress. So we text-fought over that for a few hours while I walked the halls.

Alice & 50 Baht arrived that night. I met them for dinner after the Natural 20 screening, gave them my badges so they could spend Saturday & Sunday at the con, and headed home.

I spent most of the weekend editing a piece I shot for a pay-per-view channel, although I did get talked into going to Vega’s house Sunday night… See this conversation to figure out how that happened. We didn’t end up making a screening of Savages, so Vega got to sit through Prometheus, which she hadn’t seen, with a butt plug about the size of a coke can stuffed in her. Scary movies get her excited anyway; as a result, I don’t think she could even tell you what happened in the movie.

When I got up to leave around 3 am, she kept her promise and didn’t say a word about me staying. Tonight, I turned down a cooked meal to work, and I don’t know when I have a free night to see her again. I have plans Wednesday, I’m doing the Dark Knight marathon Thursday, seeing Blue Friday, and covering the Urban X Awards Saturday.

In the meantime, I had several ideas for Cowboys & Engines on the drive to SD. The more progress we make, the more excited I get about this thing.

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