Your Thought For the Day

Your Thought For the Day.

Your Thought For the Day.

Life progresses. Today has been the first time in several days that the MCWBT tried to reassert control. Luckily, I’ve been alone, so I allowed myself to mope  slightly (nothing major), while getting on with work. I think by tomorrow, I’ll have washed it off. I spent the day organizing and pulling boxes out of the area that will become my dungeon.

It’s strictly chemical, and I know it; I have no cause to complain. I finally got together for some mildly perverted R&R with TQO, and it was awesome. I’m hoping we make it a regular occurrence, though she’s been mentioning some guy (not me) she’s getting sloppy over on Twitter, so it might not happen.

There’s the potential that I’ll be meeting an interesting, attractive, and far too young for me (this is a theme; TQO is 19) girl from Florida whom I’ve been talking to since last year. She’s coming to L.A. next week, and we’re going to have lunch, and probably a fantastic rutting session afterwards. I’m also hoping to see Blue, and Brave, this weekend.

It looks like I’ve got directing work coming up before the end of the year, so the hustling is paying off. I’ve got four companies I’m potentially worming my way into. Nothing I can talk about yet, but my Tragic 8-Ball says things are looking up. Tomorrow will be my last day working as the DP on Paul Thomas’ most recent feature for New Sensations. I’ve known PT forever, but this is the first time we’ve ever worked together in any capacity, and I have to say, I get it. The man is genuinely talented, and he really knows how to keep things fresh and get the most from his actors. My respect is genuine, and the work is refreshing.

This shoot is also remarkable in that one of the extras, a gorgeous, heavily-tattooed girl who mostly does BDSM scenes, gave me her number and while texting today decided we should really get together and play.

Suddenly, I’m much more invested in getting the dungeon put together…

A funny thing happened on the way to my blog… I realized I feel pretty goddamned good. Part of it is getting a job that I’ve been very late in finishing for some friends off my plate and my conscience. Part is that my efforts at diversifying, trying to get out from under the near-exclusive banner of the director I’ve been inhabiting for the past 18 months, are working. And part of it, I admit, is that I’ve started to feel like I have a few more years of hunting attractive, interesting prey in me after all.

Go fuck yourself, MCWBT.

The improving attitude is partly just willpower (hey, I gotta give myself occasional credit). I’ve lost almost 30 pounds from simply deciding to eat less and sticking to it. I figure I can apply that same force of will to my own shitty outlook. Plus, I’ve been able to settle a few outstanding emotional debts lately. Not all of them the way I would have hoped, but at least I got closure.

Surprisingly, I’m not letting it make me crazy. Between work, trying to unpack, and the occasional date, I’m keeping busy.

On the first score, I’m chasing directing gigs at various companies, shooting a lot for x3sixty, a new venture owned by Paul Fishbein, the man who hired me to run AVN, and working as a DP for various other directors. It looks like the horror movie I shot in November might premiere at the Toronto Film Festival, which would be amazing. I have a bite on directing another horror film. I’m doing prep on my mysterious steampunk short I’ve mentioned here a few times. I’m even getting paid to finish editing The Money Shot, a web series I directed over a decade ago.

So work is good. The new place is very slowly coming together (having work precludes having time to unpack). At least most of the toys, and the TV & surround sound are set up (because, y’know, I’m 12).

As for the dates, it’s been interesting. I got a call I never expected from a girl I hadn’t seen in years who was in town and wanted to get together. I’ve been seeing Blue about once a week, which is great (though we still have that top/top issue). I’m speaking to Red again, just casually, and since I have no interest, I’m sure she’ll be chasing. Next week I have a date that could be a complete waste of time, and I’ve been flirting and sending filthy stories to an interesting girl I’m gonna call The Quiet One (y’know, the ones you have to watch out for). That could turn out to be a fascinating distraction.

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Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. — Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency