Cowboys

It’s been a strange week. Last weekend I had a small epiphany regarding someone I had thought I was very close to. In reality, they don’t think of me as a close friend at all. At best, we’re work friends or strong acquaintances. I had the actual realization last Thursday, but over the weekend it began to sink in that I was down another friend (even if that friendship existed only in my head). In taking stock, I became aware that I have a total of two people in my life with whom I ever do or discuss anything other than specific work, or the business in general.

Why do I bottle shit up, or rant about it here? Apparently I do it because I don’t have a helluva lot of other options.

Yeesh. That’s gotta change.

Tuesday I had a long-delayed dinner with a girl I’m gonna call XJN, for reasons that will become readily apparent if she becomes a fixture on this blog. Which I hope she does. We’ve known each other for years, but we’d never gone on a date before. Hell, I wasn’t even sure it was a date until we spent a couple hours after dinner just walking around talking. It was easy and fun, and we have a loose plan to hang out on my couch, watch movies and… whatever… the next time I’m free. Sadly, at the moment, that looks to be 2018, but I’ll see if I can’t make room.

Afterwards, I met up with LL and a couple of her friends at a bar in Noho so we could flirt, drive each other crazy, and talk about her relationship, which isn’t going too swimmingly at the moment. She’s working on Cowboys & Engines with me, so I’ll be seeing a lot of her as that goes forward. We’ll have plenty of opportunities to frustrate the hell out of ourselves, which is fine because I love spending time with her.

I spent Wednesday cutting together the re-enactment of a grisly murder from 2006 in which a girl ends up dead in a wheelbarrow, her corpse burned almost beyond recognition. It’s all part of a mainstream project about a private detective in Palm Desert that Hollywood is directing.

Yesterday, I shot a bunch of promo spots for Vivid’s new camgirls site. Today I was focused on getting the audition breakdowns for C&E out, and getting the very basic website with the casting info up. If you’re looking for that, you’re in the wrong place, BTW. Try looking here.

See? Weird week.

My incredibly hot friend JJ is supposed to be in town this weekend, and we’re scheduled to hook up. Haven’t seen her since January, so that would be good.

Things have been quiet with Vega, because she’s been out of town. Way out of town. Since she’s been back, I’ve gotten hints, prods and outright threats regarding getting together. She’s supposed to come over Sunday, but I took a gig doing a Lingerie Football League spot in Vegas Sunday night, so that has to wait. Sorry, hon (god, I’m a dick).

After this weekend, chaos ensues. Work for C&E,  work for other people, work in general. I have one or two more screen tests to shoot for Green Door, a day covering the auditions for Jeff Mullen’s Wizard of Oz XXX (that oughtta be surreal), a prospective date with Ink, and the Sleeping Beauty XXX shoot with Rob Black. And that’s just up till next Sunday.

“Free time” is about to become a foreign concept, but that’s good because that means things are happening. That’s what movies feel like, and I’ve missed it. I used to wake up every morning thinking about a particular girl. Since I made a concerted effort to get over her, I usually wake up thinking about C&E, which is a marked improvement. I’ll take being fixated on this film to being fixated on someone who doesn’t want me any day.

I was about to close with the sentence, “a movie can’t break your heart,” but anybody who’s ever made one knows that is completely untrue. If I had a heart to break, a movie I’m directing would be one of the few things able to do it.

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From Twitter

Random Quote

Will: Sharon, the NEA is a loser. Yeah, it accounts for a penny out of our paycheck, but he gets to hit you with it any time he wants. It doesn’t cost money, it costs votes; it costs airtime, column inches. You know why people don’t like liberals? Because they lose. If liberals are so fucking smart, how come they lose so goddamn always?
Sharon: Hey!
Will: [to Lewis] And with a straight face, you’re gonna tell students that America’s so star-spangled awesome, that we’re the only ones in the world who have freedom? Canada has freedom, Japan has freedom, the UK, France, Italy, Germany, Spain, Australia, Belgium has freedom. [laughs] So 207 sovereign states in the world, like a hundred and eighty of them have freedom.
Moderator: Alright–
Will: And yeah, you, sorority girl. Just in case you accidentally wander into a voting booth one day, there’s some things you should know, and one of them is, there’s absolutely no evidence to support the statement that we’re the greatest country in the world. We’re 7th in literacy, 27th in math, 22nd in science, 49th in life expectancy, 178th in infant mortality, 3rd in median household income, number 4 in labor force, and number 4 in exports. We lead the world in only 3 categories: number of incarcerated citizens per capita, number of adults who believe angels are real, and defense spending, where we spend more than the next 26 countries combined. 25 of whom are allies. Now, none of this is the fault of a 20 year old college student. But you, nonetheless, are without a doubt a member of the worst period generation period ever period. So when you ask, “what makes us the greatest country in the world?” I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Yosemite? [Pause] We sure used to be. We stood up for what was right. We fought for moral reasons. We passed laws, struck down laws for moral reasons. We waged wars on poverty, not poor people. We sacrificed, we cared about our neighbors. We put our money where our mouths were. And we never beat our chest. We built great big things, made ungodly technological advances, explored the universe, cured diseases, and we cultivated the world’s greatest artists and the world’s greatest economy. We reached for the stars, acted like men. We aspired to intelligence, we didn’t belittle it, it didn’t make us feel inferior. We didn’t identify ourselves by who we voted for in our last election. And we didn’t… we didn’t scare so easy. We were able to be all these things, and to do all these things, because we were informed. By great men, men who were revered. First step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one. America is not the greatest country in the world anymore. [Pause] Enough?
— WIll McAvoy (Jeff Daniels), The Newsroom