Sex and the City

Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?"

I loathe Sex and the City. In fact, “loathe” doesn’t even begin to describe my abject hatred. It’s like the Woody Allen quote from Annie Hall, “Love is too weak a word for what I feel… I lurve you.  Y’know, I loove you, I, I luff you.  There are two f’s.  I have to invent… ”

I loathez it… I loo-athess it…

You get the idea. It’s a fucking blight on my brain. I hate every single thing about it. I hate the people, I hate the city (as portrayed), I hate the lifestyle. I hate SATC so much that when I encounter some desperate, overweight single woman in her 40s who equates shoes with happiness and money with more-gooder happiness (i.e., a fan of the show), a switch closes in my brain and I immediately assume… no, decide… they are a dysfuntional human of less-than-average-worth.

Actually, I decide that they’re a crass, tasteless fucking retard.

Perhaps the worst part of Robin Hood (and there are many as it is a terrible film) was sitting through the trailer for Sex and the City 2: Cunty Barren Jamboree.

However, one good thing has come from this estrogen-deprived festival of horror: Lindy West of The Stranger has posted her review, and it is the greatest thing you’ll ever read.

Here’s a brief taste:

Sex and the City 2 makes Phyllis Schlafly look like Andrea Dworkin. Or that super-masculine version of Cynthia Nixon that Cynthia Nixon dates. Or, like, Ralph Nader (wait, bad example—Schlafly totally does look like Ralph Nader in a granny wig). SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human—working hard, contributing to society, not being an entitled cunt like it’s my job—and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car.”

Go. Read. Now.

Lindy West’ Sex and the City 2 Review

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You shouldn’t think that just because I’m looking at you while you’re talking to me, that I’m necessarily listening to, or caring about, what you’re saying. It’s just something I do to be polite. — Sam Donovan (William H. Macy), Sports Night